Thursday, July 02, 2020

The New York Crank is undergoing a bit of surgery and will not be posting for a short while. Come back late July.


No, they're not going to saw off my leg (I hope.) 

I'll be in the hospital for hip replacement surgery. They've already replaced my right hip. This time it's the left. But that's only part of my ongoing old-age parts replacement program. 

The lenses that nature grew for me in both eyes developed cataracts and were long ago removed and replaced with optical something-or-other. I now have 20-20 vision in both eyes, so I can look in the mirror and watch myself growing older without the assistance of eyeglasses.

Well, I still have my original knees and elbows. (But don't tell the doctors.)

By the time I finally buy the farm, I expect that I'll have more replacement parts in me than a 1951 Ford, assuming this keeps up.

On the other hand, what choice have I got?

The benefit to you, my long-suffering readers, is that when I return, after several weeks of pain and discomfort, and putting up with the bureaucratic cover-our-institution's-administrative-ass crap that the hospital has already begun dishing out to me, I should be mad as hell. I'm talking rip-roaring, flame-spouting, insanely head-exploding furious. Which should make for some lively reading. (Unless the Oxycodone — or is it Oxycontin? — that they always prescribe post-op temporarily renders me a happy vegetable. Who knows?)

Anyway, see you around the end of the month. 


14 comments:

bowtiejack said...

Good luck!
I get your points, but how lucky we are to live in a time when they can do this stuff!
My grandparents, who I loved when I was little and thought were very old, I later learned died in their 50's. Almost undoubtedly from the effects of high blood pressure.

I'm 82, I take my meds and I feel fine.

We're lucky.
Take care and appreciate.

Anonymous said...

Good luck
-- Very long time reader, very seldom poster.

Bill said...

Take care and be safe Crank.

Yastreblyansky said...

All best! Get well, and crankier, soon!

Regina M. said...

Best wishes for a speedy recovery. Looking forward to your return.

seafury said...

Good luck from a broken down, gear jamming trucker. Only one hip replacement so far but 2 cataracts and a detached retina. Still learning how to drive 40 years into the career. Get back soon really enjoy the blog

The New York Crank said...

Thanks to all of my well-wishers. I probably ought to say something characteristically cranky at this point, but no, I really do appreciate your thoughts.

Surgery is Monday at a very good orthopedic hospital, The Hospital for Special Surgery. They used to have very good advertising, too. (I spent the first few years of my career as a newspaper reporter, the last 40 in advertising.) Their slogan was "Where the world goes to get back in the game." That positioned them as a world-class institution, a leader, one of the best on the planet.

So of course, some jerk came along and changed their slogan to 'It's all about how you move." So are a pair of crooked crutches, a red flyer wagon, and an alcoholic chiropractor in Keokuk, who could easily run the same advertising. The jerks!

There! I've said something cranky.

See you all toward the end of the month.

Yours crankily,
The New York Crank

Infidel753 said...

Good luck!

Comrade Misfit said...

NYC, I wish you the best possible outcome. Come back and help us kick the asses of the Trumpanzees.

Steve M. said...

Best of luck!

Victor said...

Whatami gonna do without andpy crank for a while?!?

Get better ASAP!
We need you for the final leg!!!

The New York Crank said...

Thanks to all again. I just got home today. For a couple of weeks or so my mobility will be very limited as will be my brainpower (no smartass remarks, please.) I'm zonked to the gills on painkillers, and so my level of concentration is limited. Also, when I'm not careful, I hit the wrong keys and smfkwu tu tuck 3hthe .

Yours crankilf,
The New York Crank

Buttermilk Sky said...

Best of luck and have someone bring you decent food. I had surgery two years ago and just made the last payment on it. Come back crankier than ever.

Buce said...

Sounds like a gut-flushing consultancy.