Dr. Ignatius Piazza owns a firearms handling school
where he is the…umm, well let’s call him a headmaster. He sells his courses and
a bunch of other things, including political opinions and e-mail lists of his
subscribers. Sign up for e-mail from him, as I did a couple of years ago, and you’ll
start getting not only "Only five days left!" promotions to to attend his courses, but also communications addressed to “Dear Patriot” if not to your first name, from
a variety of right wing causes, crazies, and fundraisers. For example, I’ve been getting a
fairly steady stream of nonsense recently from Rand Paul.
Hey, it’s a free country. And it doesn’t hurt, I
suppose, to teach firearms handling to people who already have firearms. It’s
the political horsefeathers that come with Piazza’s appeals to improve my gun
skills that get my goat. (For the record, I was trained on the .45 caliber Colt
pistol, the now long-outmoded M-1
Rifle, and the equally outmoded 30-caliber Browning machine gun, decades ago in my military
days. I haven’t touched a firearm since.)
Recently, I got an e-mail from Piazza praising the
Chappell Hill Bank in the town of Chappell Hill, Texas. For what? For
encouraging its customers to walk into the bank packing iron, including
concealed iron – licensed concealed iron, of course. Piazza even included a newspaper article
quoting the bank president, Ed Smith: “No damn yankee is going to tell us what
to do.”
Well, Ignatius, Ed, I'm truly grateful to both of you. I think it’s just marvelous that you warned
me. Personally, now that I know the bank’s rules,I think I’ll do my banking
someplace else. I can see the scene:
Robber walks into that Chappell Hill bank, yanks (no pun
intended) yanks out a gun, and announces a stickup. From various corners of the
bank, twenty customers and tellers (who are also encouraged to carry heat) start
firing. If you happen to be somewhere in the middle of the bank floor, say on
the way to make an inquiry of a teller, or to see a bank officer about
refinancing your underwater mortgage, do you know what you are?
Right. You’ll be delicious with a couple of slices of ham
and some mustard on rye bread.