Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A man walks onto an army base and blows away a bunch of people — and this guy's giving away free firearms?

So I open my e-mail today and there's yet another e-mail (I get them almost daily) from 'Dr. Ignatius Piazza" of an organization called "Frontsight" urging me to sign up for his firearms course.

He's so anxious to have me, he'd be delighted to put a free gun in my hand.

He doesn't know who I am — whether I'm a psycho, or a murderer, or a rapist, or a terrorist. No matter. He-wants-that-gun-in-my-hand.

I won't torture you with his whole letter, but I'll let you finish off today's post with an excerpt, while I go barf.

There are only 58 brand new, Pocket Pistols left. Call my assistants Jon, Kendra or Ian today from 8:30am to 5:30pm PST to help you secure yours.

Here is why...

Something happened at Front Sight that has never happened before.

On Friday, November 6, 2009 Front Sight had 673 people arriving to attend our training. This is not only a record breaking weekend for Front Sight, this is a record for the firearms training industry!

This has never before happened any where in the world!

As you read this, those 673 people are being treated to a positively life-changing experience with all the personal attention needed, by the world's greatest firearms training instructional staff.

(One of the 673 has already responded to this e-mail from his BlackBerry. Here is what he said: "Dr. Piazza, That's awesome. I represent 7 of those people that are here right now. We are amazed with the detail and quality of training. I am a Pastor and want everyone I know to get involved at Front Sight! Thanks so much. Chuck Hickman. Soteria Church")

Well, come to think of it, there is one more thing I want to say. Who would Jesus blow away, pastor?


Unknown said...

This is a training facility that provides lawful citizens proper training in firearm defense. You CANNOT get one of the offered firearms without an extensive background check. In fact, you cannot get onto the grounds of this training facility and/or enroll in a course without an extensive background check. I am a middle-aged female with a doctorate level education. I have taken two courses at Front Sight. They are taught by skilled professionals. The emphasis is on safety, and how to PREVENT yourself from being attacked. In the event I,or my loved ones lives should ever be threatened, I now have the knowledge and skill to protect myself and my family in a lawful and effective manner. I understand why you may have issues with the marketing practices of this company. However,I can assure you that Front Sight operates their training facility with great professionalism and integrity. Any lawful citizen who chooses to exercise their Second Amendment right should also take the responsiblity to become properly trained. Front Sight provides that opportunity.

The New York Crank said...

" In the event I,or my loved ones lives should ever be threatened, I now have the knowledge and skill to protect myself and my family in a lawful and effective manner."

Yeah, right. Unless you or your loved ones are in school in some town like, oh,umm, Columbine? Or on an army base. Or walking down the street when someone with an easily-obtained gun blows off the back of your head."

These guys make money by encouraging your paranoia. We'd be lots safer without these training courses if we simply pulled guns off the streets. But you think you're safe? Lotsa luck.

Yours Very Crankily,
The New York Crank

Unknown said...

Dearest Crank,

If some freak wants to blow my head off, you think you could discourage him by making guns illegal? Oh, I'm sure that would prevent him from ever using a gun to commit a crime. I mean, he wouldn't want to break the law, would he?.
It's kind of interesting that you've used Columbine High and Army bases (e.g.Fort Hood) as an example where citzens were fired upon. These were gun free zones. That worked out really well for these defenseless victims, now didn't it?
I'm not paranoid. Just realistic
and lot safer while walking city streets or shopping in the mall than you are.
Lotsa luck to you also,especially if you have to wait for police response time while having no method of self defense. THAT could make you even more cranky.

The New York Crank said...

D.R. Fico said, "I'm not paranoid. Just realistic
and lot safer while walking city streets or shopping in the mall than you are."

Right. And I am the Queen of England. And when you yank out your concealed weapon and point it, some other person with a gun might blow you away because he or she is under the impression that you are the aggressor, not the person who you think is the aggressor. And as for all those people between your gun barrel and the other gun barrel or barrels — tough luck for them, right? They should never have left the house without their bulletproof vests.

Yours very crankily,
The New York Crank

Unknown said...

Yes, Dear Queen Crank, I can understand your impression of how us sheepdogs of society may function. But, I can assure you in the event I should EVER decide to "pull", there would be NO doubt as to who is the aggressor and who is the protector.And YOU will be the one cowering under cover while I put myself out to protect you. Reply with whatever sarcastic cynicism you want. The reality is that you are anti-gun and anti-Second Amendment. There are many intelligent, educated Americans who understand that no one is immune to violent crime. What personal measures and responsibiity have YOU taken to defend yourself? Obviously none, except deciding to call 911. Tough luck for you. -Dr. Fico

The New York Crank said...

Dear Doc,

You are quite right. No one is immune to violent crime.

Why just the other day, here in New York City, a 15-year-old girl (admittedly unarmed) was shot to death in the street, caught by a stray bullet fired by someone no one could see. No doubt he too felt that he self-confidently "knew who the aggressor was." Check it out here:

Would you have fired back? At whom? Or would you just shoot up the nabe, confident that if you kill everybody you'll kill the killer, too? Who else would you kill, knowing what you're doing?

Thanks to clearheaded folks like you, we now have one more dead child, one more homicidal firearm still out there on the street.

My original impression, when you first posted on this blog, was that you were well intentioned and naive. I have since revised that impression. I now suspect you're a sociopath, Doc.

Keep thinking the way you're thinking and I'll be honored to sit on your jury.

Yours very crankily,
The New York Crank

Unknown said...

When you can't win the argument you resort to name calling and cite examples of gun crimes that (once again),involve criminals, illegal firearms, and not lawful citizens.
Looking at the stats for your blog, it's obvious that it is not worth my time. No one follows this rant. I only stumbled upon it by error.

The New York Crank said...

Well, Doc, since nobody reads this blog, I don't understand why you've got your bustle in a twist. According to you, this is just a private exchange between the two of us. But just for the record, "sociopath" wasn't name calling. It was a diagnosis.

And uh, where did you think these criminals get their guns if not from "non-criminals" who sell the weapons to them?

And how is any gun dealer going to judge intent? And how can I even judge your own intent when you tell me that with your formidable expertise, you will be certain who is the aggressor (the other guy) and who is the "protector" (you, guided by your personal connection to divine providence, no doubt.)

Seems to me there are serious flaws in your logic. What institution was it that awarded you a doctorate? I want to make sure I don't recommend it or its graduates to anyone else.

Crankily yours,
The New York Crank