Thursday, January 24, 2013

From those wonderful Republicans who hate class action law suits: a vulture class action suit against Lance Armstrong

Lance Armstrong was a dead cyclist pedaling since the moment he appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show and confessed to doping, bullying, and other unsportsmanlike behavior.

I don’t much like the guy. I think his behavior was reprehensible. But I don’t think we live in a society where a guy caught lying deserves to be torn apart by scavengers while his heart is still beating.

Unfortunately, that seems to be exactly what’s happening.

A humanoid vulture named Rob Stutzman, who is a Republican political operative, has joined with  chef  you never heard of to bring a class action lawsuit demanding Armstrong return what members of the class paid for Lance’s books,  “It’s Not About the Bike,” and “Every Second Counts.”

Their whining call for justice will be, I suppose, that they never would have become better. more fit and inspired bicyclists as a consequence of Armstrong’s books if they had only known Armstrong doped before he improved their rides and their skills.

There’s no way that Stutzman and the nobody chef can earn the price of a cheap lunch on a book refund. But the lawsuit, if successful, can help to break Armstrong and his publishers because they'll be forced to pay many thousands of buyers. Why are Stutzman and Chef Nobody attacking when they suffered no significant loss and have practically nothing to gain except bragging rights? That’s why they call ‘em vandals.

What’s so ironic about a Republican operative becoming lead plaintiff in a class action lawsuit is that the Republican party purports to hate, hate, hate class action lawsuits. So much so that back in 2005, the Bush Administration sought to legally curtail them.

Of course, those would be lawsuits against huge corporations and individuals that do real bodily harm and property damage, such as medical equipment manufacturers that make faulty hip implants that cripple and poison people, or energy companies that foul and poison drinking water.

Republicans still want to put a stop to that kind of legal action, you can bet. But when it comes to picking the financial bones of a pathetic living corpse like Armstrong, they’re as greedy and rapacious as any thug you’re likely to meet in a dark alley.

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