Supreme partisanship and how to give it a bloody nose

Thanks to the Republican majority on the U.S. Supreme Court, you now can

kiss Democracy an eternal goodbye. Unless...

No sooner was I feeling pleased by the first round of Democratic Presidential Musical Chairs on Wednesday night than the U.S. Supreme Court slammed the brakes on my euphoria. 

In a 5-4 decision, the usual Republican suspects on the court decided that hey, even if a Congressional district is so bizarrely twisted and contorted that it could hide behind a corkscrew, judges are not allowed to second guess the judgements of the law makers. At least, not when the winners are Republicans.

No legal standards discernible?

Not if you keep your eyes shut.

“There are no legal standards discernible in the Constitution for making such judgments,” writes Supreme Court Chief Justice Roberts, who seems to have forgotten the legal principle that "all men [and thus, by inference, their votes] are created equal." And presumably, ditto women and their votes these days.

Fortunately there are clearly discernible legal standards saying Supreme Court justices may be impeached and removed. Perhaps it’s high time the Democrats considered how to go about dumping these bums. (Only one Justice, Samuel Chase, was ever impeached, but it’s a precedent.)

I would start with the weakest target, Justice Thomas. His infamously scurrilous behavior relating to pubic hair on a Coke can, during Senate Judiciary Committee hearings, calls for some review in light of current standards. 

It’s my understanding that the Senate never heard from other witnesses who were waiting to testify about sexual harassment by Thomas. Further, there seems to be a good case for impeaching and removing Thomas for both sexual harassment and perjury. Go for it, House Judiciary Committee!

Next there’s Samuel Alito who, during his senate confirmation, uttered a pious paean to stare decicis. Watch this one with your hands clasped in the prayerful position, and try to imagine a little gold halo shining over Alito's head as he lies through his teeth.

Then, as soon as he was seated on the court, he ignored or overrode enough prior decisions to make it clear that he perjured himself licentiously during the Senate confirmation hearings. Put him on trial in the House and Senate for perjury. And then, when he is removed, put him on trial for the same crime in the criminal courts.

Neil Gorsuch? It's time to make the case  that because President Obama’s nomination for that Supreme Court chair was improperly withheld by Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, Gorsuch's subsequent nomination and confirmation was the fruit of a poisoned tree, and hence illegitimate. That one’s a long shot, but it’s time to start stirring the pot and seeing how the Long Shot Soup turns out.

Democrats, you too can

start your gerrymander engines

Meanwhile, in every majority Democratic city, county, and state around the country, Democrats need to start gerrymandering the living crap out of election districts, to make sure Republican votes in their jurisdictions count for as little as Republicans have been making sure that Democratic votes will count.

One person, one vote rule is essentially dead in this nation thanks to the Supreme Court majority in action. These days, it’s every bully, crook and pit viper for him or herself. So New York, California, Massachusetts and other Democratic states, gerrymander those Republicans until they bleat.

And if the Republicans don’t like it, let them run to the Supreme Court and try to find some justice.

If there is any justice any more.

Bribery arrests? They’re only for the little people.

Public domain art from ClipArt ETC [etc.usf.edu]

Bits and pieces from a  Los Angeles Times story by David G. Savage. It concerns a former Republican (natch!) governor of Virginia, one Bob McDonnell:

McDonnell and his wife were deeply in debt. Jonnie Williams, a free-spending Virginia businessman, offered to improve their "financial situation" if they helped promote his tobacco-based dietary supplement. 

Over two years, he secretly gave the couple more than $175,000 in loans, vacations and gifts, including a New York shopping spree by McDonnell's wife and an engraved Rolex watch for the governor.

[SNIP]

Prosecutors showed evidence that within minutes of speaking to Williams about personal loans, the governor called or emailed aides and state health officials, asking them to come to the governor's mansion to hear more about the dietary supplement. McDonnell used the governor's mansion for a product launch for the new supplement. And he carried a bottle of pills in his pocket and suggested state employees might want to try them.

[SNIP]

McDonnell was charged with bribery and corruption, and a jury convicted him in 2014 on 11 counts. A U.S. appeals court upheld the convictions and said the governor had taken bribes in exchange for "using the power of his office to influence governmental decisions."

But now the good part — good, that is, if you’re either a government official on the take, or a rich individual who wants to buy the law for your own benefit.

McDonnell has appealed all the way up to the Supreme Court. He may  lose in the tied-up court now that Justice Scalia is dead. I sincerely hope so. But the sheer gall of his appeal is vomit-worthy. 

Moreover, the very fact that the Roberts Court would entertain such an appeal is worthy of a counter-appeal to God: “Dear Lord, don’t stop at Scalia. Please take Justice Roberts as well.” 

As the LA Times tells it:

"The possibility that an individual who spends large sums may garner influence over or access to elected officials" is not evidence of bribery or corruption, Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. said two years ago in striking down the limits on how much in total a single donor may give to a field of candidates. "Ingratiation and access... are not corruption," he said, quoting from the Citizens United opinion
McDonnell's attorneys have latched on to that legal rationale to argue that doing small favors for big donors is protected under the 1st Amendment .

"Paying for 'access' — the ability to get a call answered or a meeting scheduled — is constitutionally protected and an intrinsic part of our political system," they said in their appeal. "If Gov. McDonnell can be imprisoned for giving routine access to a gift-giver, an official could equally be imprisoned for agreeing to answer a donor's phone call about a policy issue.”

Alas, McDonnell has been sentenced to a piddling two years for what has grown into an effort to subvert not only a bribery law, but the very basis of Democracy, which is that  government is not just for those who can afford to buy it. 

If it were up to me, McDonnell would spend his two years in solitary. Either that, or in a maximum security prison with other major felons, which he is.

And Justices Roberts, Alito, and Thomas would be in cells further down the solitary cell block.

Special thanks to “Comrade Misfit” at the Earthbound Misfit blog for taking note of this issue, which is how it came to my own cranky notice.

Dr. Crank’s step-by-step, creepy-crawly, totally-paranoid nightmare scenario for fellow nervous Democrats

1. Hillary gets completely shut out of primary votes that might go her way in Florida and Michigan. (Already happening.)

2. Barack wins nomination as Democratic Party’s candidate for President.

3. Hillary refuses to give up without a fight and goes to the “stare decicis” U.S. Supreme Court, which decides, “Stare schmarey – we’re taking over the election.” By a 5-4 split they declare Barack’s nomination null and void.

4. Democrats discover there is no longer time to hold a primary and new convention before the election. They apply to the Supremes for a delay in Election Day.

5. Supreme Court says, “Hey, stare decicis, dudes! Election Day has already been decided upon as the first Tuesday in November since forever. To assure the smooth and fair functioning of our democracy, we cannot change the date of Election Day, even though we’ve decided the Democrats have no legal candidate. How many times do we have to tell you guys, 'Don't mess with Florida?'”

6. The United States gets a one-party election. By some odd coincidence, McCain becomes President.

As I said, this is only an paranoid nightmare. It's unfounded.

Or is it?

When they execute an innocent man for murder on Tuesday, the real murderers will be the cops, prosecutor and appeals courts from Georgia to Washington

Barring a legal miracle, the state of George is about to stick a needle into an innocent man, paralyze his nervous system so that he cannot breathe, and then stop his heart.

His name is Troy Davis. That's him at left. When he was put on trial, there were witnesses against him, but most of those witnesses now say they were bullied by the police into falsely testifying against Davis.

The truly horrifying part of the story is that thanks to something bizarrely named the Antiterrorism and Effective Death Penalty Act, the courts have refused to review this new evidence and grant Davis a new trial.

This act of Congress prevents the courts from reviewing fresh evidence even when a state is about to execute an innocent person. Of course, the Supreme Court could declare that the law is unconstitutional, but don’t expect it from the cast of right-wing characters sitting on the Roberts court today. (We also ought to brand as murderers every member of Congress who voted to prevent reviews of fresh evidence that could prevent an innocent person from going to his death -- or spending more time in prison for a crime he did not commit.)

Oh, did I mention that George Bush could grant the guy clemency, too? Whoops sorry, President Bush uses that only for political operatives like Scooter Libbey facing five years for a crime they really did commit, not for innocent men about to be put to death.

You can read a summary of “legalized” murder by the state here: http://www.thecarpetbaggerreport.com/archives/11470.html

Somehow, this all brought to mind a little ditty I wrote in a cranky moment well over a decade ago. It had to do with the electric chair, but it works just as well for any form of capital punishment.

It was meant to be sung, to an upbeat banjo twang. Just in case you like to twang one.

Enjoy, while you think of the murderers in Washington positions of power – and the innocent guy they’re going to kill to keep the death penalty “effective.”

They are bolting down the death chair
To the concrete prison floor
And they're checking all the wires out
A dozen times or more
And they're testing out the switches
And they're trying out the fuse
They are gonna fry a kid tonight --
The story's in the news.

Yes, it's good to deep fry people
The Supreme Court says, Well hey,
If we do not cook all the Accused
They'll just get in the way.
Too damn bad they had bad lawyers
And let's cut out those appeals
For we're busy and it's lunchtime
And it's torture missing meals.


Meanwhile, just outside the prison gates
They're starting to drink beer
They've got noisemakers and banners
And they're full of vengeful cheer
Some are here to mourn and others toast
The final muffled cry
Of a guy the prosecutor framed
And justice says must die.

Yes, it's good to deep fry people
The Supreme Court says, Well hey,
'If we do not cook all the Accused
They'll just get in the way.
Too damn bad they had bad lawyers
And let's cut out those appeals
For we're busy and it's lunchtime
And it's torture missing meals.

Watch them drag him down the hallway
Weak and trembling, full of fright
Just a kid without his mother
In the middle of the night
See him cuddled in the rough embrace
Of leather, wood and steel
Now they jam a gag into his mouth --
It's all part of the deal.

Yes, it's good to deep fry people
The Supreme Court says, Well hey,
'If we do not cook all the Accused
They'll just get in the way.
Too damn bad they had bad lawyers
And let's cut out those appeals
For we're busy and it's lunchtime
And it's torture missing meals.

Then the warden reads the sentence
And the priest he reads a prayer
Next the whining of a generator
Fills the stagnant air --
Then upon the stroke of midnight
All the power of the state
Flows through shiny copper cables
With a final surge of hate.

Yes, it's good to deep fry people
The Supreme Court says, Well hey,
'If we do not cook all the Accused
They'll just get in the way.
Too damn bad they had bad lawyers
And let's cut out those appeals
For we're busy and it's lunchtime
And it's torture missing meals.
.
Now the young kid lurches forward
'Neath the straps his body strains
While his blood and liver boil
And smoke gushes from his brains
See the writhing torso twitching
Muscles fracture every bone
Underneath the flaming leather mask
There comes a final groan.

Yes, it's good to deep fry people
The Supreme Court says, Well hey,
'If we do not cook all the Accused
They'll just get in the way.
Too damn bad they had bad lawyers
And let's cut out those appeals
For we're busy and it's lunchtime
And it's torture missing meals.

Smell the room fill with the stink of
Urine, vomit, burning skin
Hear the clamor in the prison
As the inmates raise a din
And a hearse's purring engine
As it carts off the remains
Of another hapless victim
Of the justice system's games

Yes, it's good to deep fry people
The Supreme Court says, Well hey,
'If we do not cook all the Accused
They'll just get in the way.
Too damn bad they had bad lawyers
And let's cut out those appeals
For we're busy and it's lunchtime
And it's torture missing meals.

Now the mob outside the prison
Breaks into a joyful shout
And the guileful prosecutor prays
No one will find him out
And the justices in black robes
Cooly dine and sleep quite well
But if there's really any justice
They will surely fry in hell.

Yes, it's good to deep fry people
The Supreme Court says, Well hey,
'If we do not cook all the Accused
They'll just get in the way.
Too damn bad they had bad lawyers
And let's cut out those appeals
For we're busy and it's lunchtime
And it's torture missing meals.

Just a kid, you high court buzzards
Couldn't vote or take a wife
But in our kinder, gentler nation
Young folks have no right to life
In the death room with ammonia
Now a trusty mops the floor
But who'll clean up the piece of filth
You've handed down as law?

Yes, it's good to deep fry people
The Supreme Court says, Well hey,
'If we do not cook all the Accused
They'll just get in the way.
Too damn bad they had bad lawyers
And let's cut out those appeals
For we're busy and it's lunchtime
And it's torture missing meals.

You can fry 'em you can hang 'em
Or squirt poison up their veins
You can gas 'em you can even
Shoot a bullet through their brains.
Can't afford no fancy lawyers
So they must deserve to die
Execution's as American
As Mom and Apple Pie.

Yes, it's good to deep fry people
The Supreme Court says, Well hey,
'If we do not cook all the Accused
They'll just get in the way.
Too damn bad they had bad lawyers
And let's cut out those appeals
For we're busy and it's lunchtime
And it's torture missing meals.

C) The New York Crank

Inventor of the Psychic Ding gives two Supreme Court justices a super ding and demands their impeachment

Remember Mme. Galzogorist, the spelling-challenged fortune teller on the gritty Manhattan block where The New York Crank is headquartered? Remember her invention of the “Psychic ding” – a sort of mental curse that brings down psychic pain on less-than-loveable public figures?

Well, lately she’s been going a little bit overboard. It’s so bad that I tried to call the white-coated people from the hospital. I wanted to get her thrown in a locked ward and pumped full of Thorazine until she calms down. But as you’ll learn if you read on, my efforts were thwarted.

This all started when I interviewed Mme. Galzogorist about who might be the winner in the next Presidential race. Unfortunately, the subject matter quickly changed and my control over the situation deteriorated, as you’ll learn from the following transcript:

CRANK: Mme. Galzogorist, who will win the next Presidential election?

MME. G: I see a Democrat in the future. Unless that idiot lunatic Bloomberg rides in on Ralph Nader’s horse and screws up the election results. A thousand psychic dings on his head! May he wake up thinking bugs are crawling around under his skin. No, actually I think he already thinks that. May he wake up thinking toads and cockroaches…

CRANK: Please excuse me for interrupting, but let’s get back on the subject. You mentioned a Democrat. Which one? Hillary? Barak Obama? John Edwards?

MME. G: It doesn’t matter. The Supreme Court will decide that any Democrat who gets elected will be unconstitutional.

CRANK: On what grounds?

MME. G: They don’t need grounds. They’re making it up as they go along. May the brains of Alito and Roberts turn to mush. I’d wish that on Clarence Thomas, too, but he doesn’t seem to have a brain.

CRANK: What are you talking about?

MME. G: Impeachment. Chief Justice John G. Roberts, Jr. and Samuel A. Alito, Jr. ought to be impeached for lying under oath. Until then, may an especially tough strain of cooties appear in their dreams to be inhabiting their scalps.

CRANK: What are you talking about?

MME. G: I’m talking stare decicis, the doctrine that you don’t change settled law. Both Roberts and Alito said under oath that they would abide by stare decicis in deciding cases. So far, they’ve overturned every settled cased they’ve considered. Their real abiding principal seems to be stare decicis my bigis behindis.

CRANK: But…

MME. G: Will you shut up and let me finish? We had an almost century-old ruling about prohibiting pricing fixing. They’ve overturned that. So much for free markets. Now manufacturers have another tool for screwing the consumer, thanks to Roberts and Alito, may Alito become increasingly aware that he is getting bald, and Roberts begin to believe that he is turning into Clarence Thomas.

We had a decades-old ruling that “separate-but-equal” segregated schools are not equal. Alito and Roberts overturned that. Welcome back, school segregation! What’s next, the legalization of lynch mobs? May Alito and Roberts have nightmares that they are getting hanged from trees! And may Thomas dream he is getting hanged from a high tech shoe tree.

Then there’s the First Amendment. If school kids express an opinion outside of class that their school principal doesn’t like, the Supreme Court has decided the First Amendment granting freedom of speech is invalid. May Roberts and Alito continually have nightmares that a fuzzy white fungus is growing in their throats and giving them laryngitis. And may the ghosts of their fathers regularly appear to them in dreams, reminding them that their names end in “Junior.” And may the public begin referring to them as, “the two juniors.”

CRANK: But what does this have to do with…?

MME. G: Oh shut your trap, Crank! Frankly, I don’t give Roe v. Wade another six months. May the two juniors both dream they’re in especially difficult labor, and wake up with murderous gas pains.

CRANK: Madame Galzogorist, you’re foaming at the mouth!

MME. G: Damn right I am! These guys are a menace. They don’t even support capitalism! They’ve reigned in the rights of stockholders to control corporate officers and boards that are robbing investors blind of their capital! May Junior and Junior grow to have such fear of pickpockets they will develop severe agoraphobia.

CRANK: So what you’re saying is…

MME. G: What I’m saying is, if you think the last Supreme Court invalidation of an election in which Gore won but lost was an abortion of democracy, wait until you see what these guys do even if the Democrats win by 70 percent! Impeach those liars now. Roberts and Alito. Junior and Junior. Impeach them for swearing falsely under oath to something their behavior almost immediately after appointment indicates was a total fabrication. They perjured themselves, Junior and Junior did. Perjury! Perjury! Perjury!

CRANK: Are you sure you…

MME. G: Of course, they’ll probably declare the impeachment proceedings unconstitutional, plunging the nation into civil unrest. Come to think of it, they probably want to bring back the Civil War, too.

NOTE: The New York Crank did what any alarmed citizen would do. I whipped out my cell phone and called 911. The paramedics arrived and trucked Mme. Galzogorist away to an under-funded city hospital. There she was declared normal and released after a lengthy rant to the staff psychiatrists concerning her fears that the court will declare health insurance unconstitutional. Oh and of course, they found she had no health insurance and billed her MasterCard $250,000 for the hospital visit. Since Mme. Galzorist cannot pay off the bill, she is being charged 25% interest a month. I hear that usury is again constitutional.