“The bankers have rioted again, Joeren. We must punish the poor to make a horrible example."

Never trust a Dutchman named Jeroen, Or even a Dutchman who uses the alternative spelling of Joran. Hans? He’s fine. Ditto Joop, Jan, Bastien, Laurens and Maartin.

But when you get to a Jeoren or Joran, watch your back! Not to mention your neck. And your pocketbook.

First there was Joran van der Sluit, who in all probability murdered Natalie Halloway on the Caribbean Dutch island of Aruba. And even if he didn’t, according to an interview he gave (and later retracted) with Greta Van Susteren, he sold Halloway into sexual slavery.

Van der Sluit may have gotten away with that one, but before you know it he was arrested, tried and convicted in Peru on charges of robbing and killing another young women.

Now we have Jeroen Dijsselbloem, a Dutch financial type who heads up the Eurozone finance ministers. Kindly Mr. Dijsselbloem suggeseted, according to an article in Reuters, that when European banks begin to fail, “euro zone officials would turn to the bank's shareholders, bondholders and uninsured depositors to contribute to its recapitalization.”

He didn't say a word about clawing back a nickel from the money launderers (in the case of Cypress) or their co-conspirators, the bankers, who helped create the problem. In other words, we must punish the innocent and the poor by confiscating their money to atone for the sins of the rich.

Please understand that, at least the way I plough my way through the news reports, most of the depositors weren’t necessarily guilty of anything more malfeasant than putting their paychecks into their checking accounts so they cold pay their rent and grocery bills. Ditto most of the shareholders and bondholders, I must assume, were simply making investments. Although some segments of each category might be complicit in a bank failure (for example, there might be foreign money launderers who are also depositors, or shareholders who elected directors who chose the CEO) the really bad guys are the bankers and money launderers who participated in these fiascos, most recently the fiacso in Cypress.

You'd think you’d want to punish those guys. Oh wait a second! You say they’re very rich and powerful and you don’t want to mess with them? Nevermind then. Decapitate the wretched poor! If you don't, they'll probably only reproduce anyway.

POP QUIZ ON THUGGERY

One of these guys is Jeroen, the other is Joran. One of them assaults young women, sometimes kills them, and may have sold one into sexual slavary. The other assaults bank depositors to confiscate part of their savings, which helps to kill national economies and stock market gains, ruining everyone's retirement dreams while punishing the innocent. For ten points of extra credit, determine which is which and write an essay explaining how you arrived at your decision. 

WARNING: The order in which these photographs was placed may constitute a trick question. 

Or maybe not.