Monday, June 19, 2006

What kind of idiot psychic who says she can see into the future can’t even see into a dictionary?

Look, there are mistakes and then there are mistakes. Anybody can commit a typographical error. Even me.

I mean, occasionally, when I’m writing this blog, my fingers go all loosey-goosey and I klj ertggnhsnf kslr ;pots fo erui timsokfs.

Okay, I did that on purpose. But most of the time at least I give proofreading a try. Most people don’t want to look ignorant. Especially business people. It puts off the public.

So you’d think a “psychic” who can see into the future could at least see into a dictionary and learn how to spell “special.”

No such luck. The psychic on the low-rent block where I rent an office has a sign out in the street that says she's offering a “speical.” You got it. "Speical." Sounds like some really terrifying surgical tool used by doctors who specialize in unmentionable orifices. “Get me a large speical, Nurse Ratchit, this thing needs prying open.”

Well, what can you expect? When you rent an office on a low-rent Manhattan block, the way I do, you get low-rent neighbors. That how I got a spelling-bee-flunkout-turned-spirit-medium.

Wish I could give you her name, but she doesn’t advertise her name. Recently, she yanked off the street a sign that had been there telling passers-by she could “put your mine at ease.”

I guess that after the coal mine explosions some months back, somebody tipped her off that she was raising the wrong topic. So she put out her new sign. No more mines. But her “$5 speical” is still there.

I guess if you can’t learn the rules or pronounce a word correctly, you can’t be expected to spell it correctly.

Consistently bad spelling and pronunciation is a symptom of bad thinking, especially in this era of spell-check computers.

Consistently bad spelling and pronunciation indicates that you are so arrogant, you don’t care what an authoritative source like a dictionary is telling you because you think you know better.

Consistently bad spelling is an indicator that you don’t want to be bothered by the facts.

Is there a point to this? Yeah, two of them actually.

1. Never trust a medium who can’t spell. Or one who can, for that matter.
2. Never trust a President who can’t pronounce “nuclear.”

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