News bulletin! (Clouds With Silver Linings Department)

The economy is more than halfway down the toilet, with Republican legislative troublemakers competing to see which of them yanks the flush handle first.

If only they can lower taxes (which helped get us into this mess over the past eight years) instead of stimulating the economy.

If only they can keep money away from infrastructure, education, healthcare and technology projects, then maybe the entire United States of America will go up in smoke. Then it will be time for The Rapture. Or The Rupture. Or whatever it is they think will put them forever in Paradise with 72 Republican virgins.

Well, never mind that. The bad economy brings this joyous news for those who’ve ever felt besieged by junk mail from banks.