Mohammed bin Salman, Jamal Khashoggi, Saud el-Qahtani, Turki al-Sheikh, Donald Trump, Anthony Scaramucci, Matthew Whitaker, and The Crank’s Rule of Rolling Heads

So you think loyalty to the top guy is your guarantee of safety and prosperity? Hang on to your head.

Atypical of the stuff I do, there is no illustration for this post. For a good reason.

A photograph of a public beheading in Saudi Arabia would be appropriate. I went on the Internet looking for one. I found, instead, a whole video of a recent public beheading of a woman there. It’s too horrible for me to reproduce. Or even to link to. In fact, it’s so disturbing that I’m sorry that even I looked at it. I may have trouble sleeping tonight.

Decapitation and

other Saudi delights

As of the first quarter of this year, Saudi Arabia had decapitated 48 people, half of them on non-violent charges, according to a story from the BBC. Unfortunately, that is germane to the farcical horror story that is the new, so-called “reformist” regime of Saudi Arabia. But hey, they now permit women to drive — when they’re not cutting the heads off women for the crime of political activism for acts such as, umm, demanding the right to drive.

But this piece is not about the perils of advocating while female in the desert kingdom. No, not at all. Instead, it’s about the price of loyalty to despots who are incapable of either doing the right thing or of telling the truth, even when the right thing, and the truth, would be easier than skulduggery and lies.

A case in point relates to the death of Jamal Khashoggi, the columnist for the Washington Post who was murdered and dismembered — not necessarily in that precise order — in the Saudi Arabia recently.

The story that just

can’t stop changing

The official Saudi story of what happened changes faster than a cheetah can run. We commented on it after a few versions were out here. And then a few days later, the story had changed again — so we commented again. And then guess what? Well, let’s let the New York Times do a few guest paragraphs:

BEIRUT, Lebanon — Saudi Arabia’s public prosecutor said on Thursday that he was requesting the death penalty for five people suspected of involvement in the killing of the Saudi dissident Jamal Khashoggi at the country’s consulate in Istanbul. 

Speaking to reporters in the Saudi capital, Riyadh, a spokesman for the public prosecutor said that the 15-man team sent to confront Mr. Khashoggi had orders to return him to the kingdom, but after he resisted they decided on the spot to kill and dismember him. 

The Saudi prosecutor’s account on Thursday appeared to contradict previous statements from both the Saudi government and senior White House officials about Saudi conclusions regarding the killing on Oct. 2 of Mr. Khashoggi.

“Appeared to contradict?” 

Ya think?

You mean the stories that Khashoggi left the Saudi embassy in Istanbul under his own steam and might still be wandering the streets there...and that, well maybe he did get killed, but only because he started a fight and therefore was asking for it...and that he got killed, but only by some rogue people who have nothing to do with Prince MBS and who mysteriously showed up at the Saudi embassy...and that the team of 15 Saudi thugs and a bone saw appearing in Istanbul at the same time were a mere coincidence... and that various other twists, turns, permutations, variations, and enhanced versions of the Saudi tangled yarn were just confections — sort of like a vanilla ice cream with banana chips, chocolate sprinkles, and whipped cream, served on a bed of sun-ripened camel poop?

Evidently so. 

The latest story out of Riyadh is that two of Prince Mohammed The Liar’s best buds, a poet-propagandist named Saud el-Qahtani; and Turki al-Sheikh, a security guy-sports promoter are the dudes who done it. (Loopy grammar intentional.)

“They are the closest people to the crown prince,” said Kristin Smith Diwan, senior resident scholar at the Arab Gulf States Institute in Washington. “They are his political enforcers and the face of the brash new ‘Saudi first’ posture at home and abroad, and those opposed to the hypernationalist, thuggish direction in Saudi foreign policy would be happy to see them cut down to size.”

The new, new, new

official story

Now the official story, turning partway back on itself,  goes like this, according to the Times:

While acknowledging that the killers had quickly cut up the body, the Saudi prosecutor sought to portray the dismemberment as a spur-of-the-moment decision after an unintended killing.

Yeah, right. Spur-of-the-moment. That’s why they brought along a forensic pathologist armed with a bone saw.

Net net: the Prince is calling for the death penalty for five members of the team. And while Prince MBS's former best pals, Saud and Turki, are not on the arrest list yet, I wouldn't underwrite any life insurance for them if I were you.

The truth is that like any despot, MBS is perfectly capable of turning on those most loyal to him, and brutally chopping off their heads if he deludes himself into thinking that’ll get him off the hook. That’s The Crank’s Rule of Rolling Heads. 

Which brings me, finally, to another well-known despot who appears incapable of telling the truth. Yeah, that one.

Under the bus with you,

dear loyal retainer

It’s no secret that no matter how loyal you are to Donald Trump, he’ll throw you under the bus if he sees any benefit for himself in doing it. That's what happened to Anthony Scaramucci, who was Trump’s loyal White House Communications Director for about 12 seconds before Trump found it convenient to lop his head off.  To this day, “The Mooch,” as he was called, still sings the praises of the boss who rolled his head.

And I can almost guarantee you that the same will happen to his new acting Attorney General, Matthew Whitaker, who before very long is going to be known as Headless Matty. 

Whitaker may try to get rid of Robert Muller. He may even succeed. But there’s already far too much evidence out there. There are prosecutors in various state attorney general’s offices who can go after Trump. There’s a Democratic Congress that can join the chase. Whitaker himself has a record worthy of prosecution rather than celebration. He will not be able to protect Trump.

And before very long, perhaps using Whitaker's shady past, Whitaker’s head, too, will roll.

I mean that metaphorically, of course, Matthew. All the same, if you sense that Trump is losing interest in your career, you just might want to throw yourself under a bus before he does it to  you.