Company lawyer and recipient of company largesse “impartially” investigate Murdoch’s wrongdoing? Yeah right. And babies come from cabbage patches.

If you’re up to your neck in deep doodoo, the last thing you want is an “independent” investigator breathing down your files.

So first you hire a guy to investigate you whom you next appoint as the chief executive of one of your corporate divisions. Appearance of impropriety be damned.

And then you hire your top company lawyer, the guy who gets paid to keep you out of trouble in the first place, and who, for all anybody knows, has a bit of scandalous dirt under his own fingernails.

That’s News Corp. for you. They investigate. Then they tell the investigators how to decide.

No no, I take that back. The investigators know how to decide even before they start to investigate.