Seven Nursery Rhymes for Grownups in the Terrible Times of Trump

There was a crooked man

And he dug a crooked well

And he took a crooked farthing

When they stayed at his hotel

And he screwed a crooked hooker

Before she could take off her blouse

And it all happened inside

The crooked White House

Putin, Putin

Mean and crass

Had his hand and forearm

Up Moscow Mitch’s ass

When Putin pulled the strings

Moscow Mitch did awful things

And the nation fell apart

In a political morass.

He was not a little girl

But he had a little curl

Right in the middle of his forehead

And when it was good 

He felt very very good

But when it got rained on he was horrid.

Mistress Melania

I don’t wanna rag onya

But how does your

Rose Garden Grow?

You pulled out the trees

And replaced it with sleaze

And you did it all just for show.

Lewis deJoy, was an odious boy

Who destroyed the mail boxes and sorters

He put in his thumb

And pulled out the plug

Thusly pleasing the postal aborters.

Donald Trump said he’d put up a wall

Turns out he was lying and that was all

All of Trump’s ramblings

And all his henchmen

Could not get that wall built 

Ever again.

Hi diddle diddle 

There are voters to diddle!

Miss Lindsey jumped over the moon

Swearing she’d never

Go back on her word — oh sure,

And the dish ran away with the spoon.

Feel free to contribute your own.