Joe Biden goes sorta missing. Amazon tells an outright lie. Welcome to America!

Is this a cadaver purporting to be the living Joe Biden?

I have a slightly scary theory about Joe Biden. 

He died a week ago of the Corona Virus. He has been embalmed, stuffed, and equipped with some gears and wheels attached to a remote control device that enable his remains to wave to crowds and smile (although his jawbone still squeaks when he does.) There is a voice track that can make him utter some pleasant, utterly meaningless sounds, while his jaw swings up and down as if his lips are moving.

There seems to be no other explanation for his extremely low profile as the COVID-19 pestilence seizes the nation, kills off people, jams our hospitals, exhausts healthcare workers, crams morgues to overflowing with dead bodies, and spreads geometrically — even as Trump urges us to get out there and mingle, go back to work, and infect the living crap out of one another at church on Easter Sunday. 

Not to mention that Trump been practicing medicine without a license, all but writing an illegal prescription for "curing" the virus consisting of two parts quinine, one part Zithromax, and one ton of horse manure.

Joe, Joe, have you nothing audible to say about that? Have you no sense of outrage?  Or more importantly, have you no alternative plan?

Yes, I know you've been kvetching about something or other, albeit almost invisibly, from the safety of your home, where you've distanced yourself not only from the disease, but also from  American voters. If I wanted to find you on TV, I wouldn't know where to look. Or when.

For the love of heaven, do something Joe! Call a nationally televised press conference. Accuse Trump of treason and promise to hang him on television when you become President. Announce a 10-point virus containment program. Poop on your own dining table an invite Lindsay Graham over for lunch. Anything that will break through the miasma and let America know you're still there.

This is what we Democrats get when we choose the "safe" candidate instead of one with important ideas who stands for something beyond the obvious proposition, the proposition that Trump has to be beat. 

Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, even Amy Klobuchar, would have filled that bill, with considerably more conviction, drive, and energy. Of course Trump has to be beat, or we are all melted and charred marshmallows. But America needs something more, and Biden's remote control-animated cadaver currently isn't supplying it.

Lately there has been some talk about somehow or other substituting Andrew Cuomo, the governor of New York, for Joe Biden. I'm not entirely convinced that's a good idea, either. Cuomo has an inherent abrasiveness. He irritates even people who like what he's doing. And that could make him a one-term President, thus quickly returning power to the Republicans. But one thing's for sure.

Right now, Joe isn't cutting it. He's making sounds, but he isn't making any noise. And his failure to do so is just adding to the disaster that is the United States of America.

But on to another frustration.

Amazon tells an outright lie:
the thermometer follies, continued...

In a previous post I recounted how I was waiting, and waiting, and waiting for Amazon to deliver a thermometer, which I was notified had been shipped.

Well, the long wait is not over. The thermometer never arrived by the deadline that Amazon gave me for the thermometer to arrive, even though I received an e-mail from Amazon.com telling me "Your Amazon order...has shipped." That same e-mail told me that package would arrive between March 24th and March 27th.

 Instead, when I tried to track the package on March 28th,   I learned that "This product is being packed and will be shipped shortly." The same tracking page told me, "We're very sorry your delivery is late. Most late packages arrive in a day. If you have not received your package by April 2 you can come back here next day for a refund or replacement."

Umm Amazon? April 2 comes in seven days from March 28th, not one day. And you (or somebody acting on your behalf) lied to me and said it had shipped, whereas now you say its "being packed." Why should I believe you, when you've already lied to me? Besides, this is a thermometer, not a nuclear bomb. How long can it possibly take to pack it? I paid in excess of $9 for shipping and you can't seem to drop it in a mailbox.

If we had a functioning government in Washington D.C. I'd report this to the Federal Trade Commission, get them to roust Jeff Bezos out of whoever's bed he's in, and either credit my money back to me immediately or deliver the thermometer in person. (Yeah, sure, but you know what I mean.)  But since I have no confidence in any administrative branch under Donald Trump, I am instead reporting this matter to the entire planet, via the blogosphere.

Put that under your tongue, Bezos, and suck on it!