Tuesday, March 14, 2017

I have been poisoned by Donald Trump's Russian agents

Self-portrait. Notice that my brains
have vanished. I blame Trump.
I've been trying to post here for days and days. And days.  I have lots of good ideas. But every time I sit down at my computer, I lose the magic. My mind goes blank.

I'm sure it's one of those fancy Russian poisons — the kind Russian agents give whistle blowers who make Putin look bad. Or maybe it's the kind of stuff that sneaks up on you like a North Korean agent, armed with VX and intent on smearing it on your face in the Singapore airport, so you'll die.

Or maybe they're invading my brain via alien brainwave emanations. Whatever it is, they're out to get me.It's a known fact. They're out to get me. Why else am I having a problem filling my blog? 

It should be a piece of cake to write about Donald Trump. Just put his name in a headline and readership zips upwardly about 25 percent. But I type his name into a headline and my mind goes blank. 

So that's how I know. I know it just as assuredly as Donald Trump knows for an absolute fact that Barack Obama sneaked into Trump Tower at 3 a.m. and attached a tape recorder to his telephone and others to the whatever of Kellyanne Conway and  Katrina Pierson.

So I'm laying back for a while. I'll be back to you when the poisons wears off. Or when the brain waves lose their voltage  Meanwhile I would strongly advise that you keep dangerous brain invaders out of your own head just the way our president does it. Here are instructions:


1 comment:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I'm reminded of William Gibson:

Chrome: her pretty childface smooth as steel, with eyes that would
have been at home on the bottom of some deep Atlantic trench, cold gray eyes that lived under terrible pressure. They said she cooked her own cancers for people who crossed her, rococo custom variations that took years to kill you. They said a lot of things about Chrome, none of
them at all reassuring