#1. I won in the big Powerball lottery!
How much? $2. How did I do it? By not buying a $2 ticket.
I also win $1 per drawing in hundreds of other lotteries by not buying tickets for them, either.
#2. Here's how to control Republicans.
Early on in the Obama administration, Republicans learned a new game. Whatever the president was for, they were against. And vice-versa. This has been so effective that they’re likely to continue on doing the same thing if another Democrat is elected president.
Well, Mr. or Ms. President, here’s the antidote. Come out in favor of the Tea Party program. For example, say that you want to cut taxes for the rich. The Republicans will immediately pass a law taxing the living hell out of the rich. Insist that you want to arm every man, woman and two-year-old in the United States. The Republicans will then ram through gun control. Announce that you want to outlaw Obamacare. They’ll pass a law saying you can’t touch it for at least a century. Here's a song to help you remember that:
What it comes down to is, the average Republican congressman or senator has the negative mentality of a petulant six-year-old. That mentality was enshrined, years ago, in this song from the off-Broadway musical, The Fantasticks.
#3. I’d like to leave you singing, but…
Despite the upbeat music, I’ve got a downer for Democrats. It’s our fellow Democrat, Andrew Cuomo, the governor of New York. Unlike his father, who I still admire, Andy’s a political hack, currently doing a terrible job of hiding either his ambitions for a higher office or the stiletto secreted under his cloak. Some examples:
He pretends to be a champion of the homeless, to disguise his cutting back on New York City’s budget. Look, I’m not a huge fan of New York City’s mayor, Bill de Blasio. But I’ll give the mayor credit for at least trying to do something about providing housing for the homeless. Cuomo, who until recently did nothing, nothing, nothing for the wretches of society, saw his nemesis de Blasio addressing the homeless issue and couldn't stand the attention deBlasio was getting. So what’s Cuomo doing?
He steals from college students. Instead of directly providing de Blasio with funds to assist with the mayor’s program to provide more permanent housing for people who can’t afford it, Cuomo now declares himself a pal to those without a roof over their heads and provides some funding — which he has stolen from the state’s regular contribution to the city’s higher education budget. Other cuts will hit the city’s Medicaid recipients. So he helps the poor by stealing some of the money set aside to help them and for the middle class in other ways. With friends like Cuomo, the poor don’t need enemies. The bastard.
He's a friend to the corrupt: Cuomo has a penchant for palling around with corrupt political crooks. From an article some time ago in the New Yorker magazine:
“I’m very big on giving other people credit,” he told me. “It’s the whole collegial thing. That’s how I get what I get done done.” Most recently, in his State of the State address, on January 21st, Cuomo said that he would soon be going on a trade mission to Mexico, and he displayed a PowerPoint slide of himself, Skelos, and Silver, all wearing sombreros.
Former state Senator Dean Skelos and former speaker of the State Assembly Sheldon Silver have both since been arrested, tried, and found guilty on corruption charges. Meanwhile, even before the corruption trials, a nervous Cuomo closed down a commission investigating political corruption.
Hmm. I wonder why?