This is not the New York Crank or Donald
Trump. It's just another joker who could
join the clown car at the Republican circus.
Trump announced during his campaign launch not only that he is running, but that he intends to wall off the entire border with Mexico and "I will make Mexico pay for it."
A spokesman for The New York Crank commented that, "Mr. Trump's declaration about the wall is completely consistent with the Republican philosophy of spending money profligately and then making somebody poorer than you pay for it. On behalf of all our like-minded Republican friends, we applaud Mr. Trump for his grandiose ideas and overinflated ego."
The spokesman went on to insist that Trump is attempting to scare The New York Crank into quitting his own race so that Trump can capture The Crank's votes, and also that the specter of players like The Crank will force Trump out of the running entirely
"The Crank frightened? That is balderdash," said The Crank's spokesman. "It's nonsense. It's bushwah. It's baloney. It's bullpoop. All Trump is doing is demonstrating The Crank's point that there are so many Republican clowns — or is 'Republican clowns' a redundancy? — there are so many Republican clowns seeking the nomination that a poor old guy with a formerly Democratic background like The New York Crank has no worse of a chance of becoming President than Donald Trump with all his billions."
Later, The Crank himself emerged from an all-night meeting with his advisors and said, "We are in this to the bitter end. You do not intimidate me, Mr. Trump. Nor am I even slightly concerned that you currently have enough loose change rattling around in your pants to outspend me. When you have barely enough people supporting you to win a sewer board election in Goes, Ohio, you're just another joke."