Tuesday, April 21, 2015

In another 20 years, will the kid who did this be a Democrat or a Republican?

Ah Spring! The time when flowers and politicians bloom.

Above: warning signs created by a kid, found on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. What party will this kid join a few more years down the road? Where do his or her sympathies lie? What can the picture tell us about where the kid will go politically?

Here are some possibilities to consider:

Democrat: Wants to preserve the beauty of nature.

Republican: Wants to control others, including animals and the people who own them. Probably wants to control your uterus, too, if you have one.

Tea Party: Can't spell worth a damn. And also wants to control everything and everybody in the name of liberty.

Koch Brothers: The advertising overwhelms and obscures what we're supposed to appreciate, the tree and the flowers that the advertising pretends to be protecting. But don't worry. They're going to throw a billion dollars at it and carve their names in the trunk.

Elizabeth Warren : If everybody sends just $2, we can build an aesthetic fence around the tree, protect the flowers, and take down the ugly messaging."

Anarchist: "Here, Rover. Make in this flower box."

Republican strategist: "Hillary Clinton was in the Senate and then Secretary of State for years and did nothing – nothing! – to protect those flowers. It was left to overwhelmed children to put up an inadequate defense that led to tulips shedding their petals. And also, Benghazi."

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