How to tell if Chief Justice Roberts (and Mitt Romney) are correct when they say a corporation is a person

You can  blame a good part the present disgusting state of political affairs on the five- member majority of the Roberts Supreme Court who, in the Citizens United Case, declared that corporations are people. 

They opened the floodgates of corporate “free speech money” that in some of the primaries (and guaranteed in the coming Presidential election) drown out any voice that isn’t as rich as America’s richest corporations.

Now Willard (“Mitt”) Romney has joined the chorus, declaring in Iowa, “Corporations are people, my friend.” Well, anyway, it’s looking as if the corporations are Romney's friends.

But are corporations really people? Here’s a simple three-step test you can perform with the corporation nearest you:

1. Stand the corporation up against a wall.
2. Blindfold it and offer it a cigarette.
3. Shoot it through the heart. 

If it falls down, bleeds and dies, it’s a corporation. If it doesn’t, it isn’t.