Thursday, March 11, 2010

Thank the good Lord that Texas and its textbooks are helping to make all of us dumber

I see in the New York Times this morning that Texas educators are trying to get the textbooks changed. I mean, the dang things are written by teachers and they keep putting in stuff that no self-respecting Texas dentist would put up with. To quote the Times:

Conservatives argue that the proposed curriculum, written by a panel of teachers, emphasizes the accomplishments of liberal politicians — like the New Deal and the Great Society — and gives less importance to efforts by conservatives like President Ronald Reagan to limit the size of government.

“There is a bias,” said Don McLeroy, a dentist from College Station who heads up the board’s conservative faction. “I think the left has a real problem seeing their own bias.”

Yeah, they’re biased. The textbooks don’t say that this here is a Christian nation. Of course, a good many of the founding fathers were deists, not Christians, and a sprinkling of them were Quakers and even Jews.

That’s one reason the Declaration of Independence said that all men are “endowed by their Creator with certain unaliable rights.” Not by God. By their Creator, which may or may not have had divine properties, depending on your belief. It’s a perfect deist statement, inserted into the Declaration of Independence so that the many non-Christian American revolutionaries wouldn’t be offended.

Oh, and those “biased” schoolteachers—pardon me, teachurs—who wrote the textbooks also didn’t pay no mind to Ronald Reagan. Of course, if they also paid mind to how his policies enlarged the national debt and in the case of Iran Contra sold arms to the Iranians who are now building an atomic bomb to threaten us with, the Eddycational Dentists of Texas would be having still another cow.

All this matters because the wimp publishers who print the textbooks kowtow to Texas, a huge purchaser of textbooks. If Texas gets the changes it wants, the rest of the nation’s kids get the same changes. So if Texas gets dumber, so do your own kids.

Look, I firmly believe that all Texans have been endowed by their creator with an unalianable right to be as dumb as they want.

They can believe that Ronald Reagan made government smaller, even though he made it bigger.

They can believe all government deficits are bad, even though Reagan gave us a lollapalooza.

They can believe that lack of regulation isn’t what caused the bankers to good hog wild and nearly bankrupt nearly everybody else.

They can believe that dinosaurs walked the earth until 42 years ago and simply stayed out of sight of human beings. I’m sorry, hooman beans.

They can have their own spelling, their own math, their own history, their own religion and their own ignorance.

But first Texas ought to secede from the union. And this time we ought to let them.

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